BOOK REVIEW: 'The Forgotten Headline' by McCaid Paul | Olivia J

"Fiction is the truth inside the lie," - Stephen King

Olivia, do you ever read anything that's not an indie book anymore?

No. 

Disclaimer: I was sent this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, McCaid!
If you're reading this, then you probably know how my book reviews go. Let's not waste any time on formalities. 

Spoilers, duh.


The Bad

1. Writing Style

I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style of The Forgotten Headline. Most of it didn't stand out to me, or strike me as particularly creative or inspired. 

On a more technical level, linking verbs were used to an excess. Now, it's all fine and good for me to use linking verbs, but that's because of the context of what I'm writing. And linking verbs aren't inherently bad. However, in an action/mystery/thriller, strong verbs and active voice are your best friend. 

I'm so picky about prose because it is the vehicle for which your story rides on. How good the story is should partially hinge on the prose - because if the prose isn't the foundation, then why not just write a script or screenplay? Why not just make a movie or a short film? 

2. Chekhov's Gun: Setup & Payoff

This is a hefty one, because this really gets into the nitty-gritty of storytelling mechanics. However, it's undeniably one of the most important parts in creating a successful story. 

This video by Folding Ideas perfectly explains this rhetorical concept - Setup and Payoff. In so many words, set up and payoff refers to the way to successfully integrate a theme or an element in a story. The rule of three refers to the Set Up, then the Reminder, and then the Payoff. An example of this would be in my own novel, A Cactus In the Valley. (I'm not enamored of using my own work as an example, but this one just happens to fit.)

Mild ACITV spoilers ahead. In A Cactus In the Valley, the main female character, Terra Lombardi, is raped as a young girl, and she tells us about it in her first flashback. This is the Setup. The Reminder comes in the form of the second flashback, reminding the reader of the traumatic event, but also deepening our understanding of how this event has shaped Terra's life. A few other offhand instances of it are brought up in the period between the Setup and Payoff and even afterwards, but the primary Reminder is the second flashback. The Payoff comes in Chapter Seven, where Terra is alone and is forced to confront her trauma and how it has stifled her. The Payoff forces her to make a decision and move on, completing the arc. (This is just a general example. If it's a super important aspect, you can have several Reminders, but not too many that it loses subtlety. This principle can apply to anything as simple as an object and as complex as a narrative theme.)

Shoutout to Fifty Days by my best friend, Brittney Kristina. That book has some of the best Setup-Reminders-Payoff I've ever had the privilege of reading. 

Back to The Forgotten Headline. Unfortunately, this storytelling device is virtually nowhere to be found in TFH. The most significant instance of this is when Mick is reading newspapers in the library with Billie and he sees the name 'Mick Johnson'. This triggers a memory of Mick's father accidentally calling him 'Mick Johnson' a few times. To Mick and Mick alone does this connection make sense. To the audience, it comes out of left field. It feels like a detail just shoved in last minute in order to make things connect. 

A way to fix this would have easily been to use the triad of Setup & Payoff I just described. For example, at the beginning of the novel, when Mick and his father are hunting, Mick's father could have accidentally called him 'Johnson' - a.k.a. the Setup. Later, Mick could have mused about how he feels alienated and different, like he doesn't truly belong in his family - a.k.a the Reminder. And then when Mick sees the headline and has the 'aha' moment, the reader would be right on board with Mick and we would be having that 'aha' moment right along with him, instead of it having to be explained and set up after the fact. 

This technique ought to have been employed all throughout TFH, and in some instances, it was. I saw the pattern in the Red Mustang and in Billie's subplot. However, I didn't see this element in some of the most important aspects of the novel like I should have. Setup and Payoff is one of the most crucial parts of a story, and it should be everywhere. You can't overuse this trope because it's just so incredibly effective and it cannot be divorced from good storytelling. Mysteries rely on setup and payoff because, throughout the story, the reader is given clues that don't connect, but when there's that one revelation, everything falls together for both the character and the reader. 

Because of this, many elements in The Forgotten Headline fall flat because of their lack of set up. Stories rely on setup and payoff because that's how a story progresses logically and how a story makes sense - if it's not important, don't mention it; if it is, give it appropriate emphasis. But more significantly, setup and payoff is how a story feels satisfying to the reader. 


3. Pacing

This sort of tags on with my last point. The setups and payoffs in TFH either don't work or are nonexistent because everything moves so fast. However, I think the beginning of the story is the strongest because it employs both suspense and interesting setups. Mysteries - and even thrillers - are often slow burns, relying on unknowns and tangled plot threads and an abundance of clues. However, due to TFH's length, this was cut short. The story wasn't allowed to simmer and build to the startling revelations contained within the plot (excluding the cliffhanger). 

4. Backstory

"Evil is not born, it's made," -Regina Mills, Once Upon A Time.  Granted, I'm not the best person to consult in writing villains, since most of my stories don't have one single person who is the primary antagonist. However, I still have something to say about it.

Truly, the most essential part of a villian is their motivation. Really, that's one of the core parts of any character. The two primary antagonists of TFH are Mr. Welch and Mick's dad, however, neither of them have clear and interesting motives. Robert's - Mick's dad's - motivation is only a reflection of Mr. Welch's motivation. 


The Good

1. Mick & Billie

I wasn't planning on loving the relationship between Mick and Billie as much as I did. I was actually surprised to find that Billie was a girl, but I loved it. She and Mick were really interesting foil characters, and I liked their strong friendship and that it didn't explicitly veer into romance. It really felt like the heart of the story, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops in the sequels moving forward.

2. Setting/Aesthetic

This one's minor, but it's important in that it adds to the overall effect of the story. TFH reminded me of Hatchet for some reason, and I love Hatchet. Maybe it's the forest/hunting setting, but I got massive Hatchet vibes. 

3. Interesting Set-Up for a Series

This might sound strange, considering my larger issue with Setup and Payoff that I discussed earlier. However, I felt that there still were interesting aspects that I have hope will be developed more in the future. 

First of which being Mick and Billie's relationship. They have the awesome potential to become a sleuthing power couple. Their friendship and their paralleled struggles could lead to some awesome character development. 

Mick's subtle murderous tendencies I though was an interesting touch. It could develop more later, but I enjoyed the parallel to Mr. Welch, Robert, and Mick in terms of their overwhelming rage and how that can lead to reckless and murderous behavior. If Paul expands upon this concept, he could have a really interesting arc on his hands. 


I think it all comes down to that The Forgotten Headline showed it's hand way too early on. The story wasn't nearly long enough for the mystery to fully develop or simmer like all good mystery/thrillers ought to. 

~

Yikes, another long one! I just really love literary analysis, can you tell?

Honestly, the section about Setup and Payoff could have been its own blog post. That's such a heavy topic but it's super important to literally any story. 

Also I kinda hate that I've been posting biweekly on this blog, but what can you do? College is a bitch. 

~The WordShaker