"If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn't matter a damn how you write," -Somerset Maugham
Life's a ride, and I'm just here to tell you about my section of the long-ass, sweaty, cramped line waiting with an uncertain probability of getting on that roller coaster.
But maybe that line is filled with great people.
Life, actually, has been great. Partial homeschooling has been successful - in the academic sense and in the social/stress sense. I got a part in my school's musical. A cute boy asked me to homecoming. I've got more freedom than I've ever had before, and I've learned to throw myself into it headfirst.
But my writing life has suffered. I've been trying to throw paper airplanes into the stratosphere - no story is sticking, no story is flowing out from me. And I hate it.
Though it sounds stereotypical, stories - having a story to write - makes me feel alive. It's why I'm here, and without that, I feel aimless, like I'm wandering through life.
But maybe I need to wander. Maybe I need to walk through the labyrinth of life, meet more people, process all that I am experiencing, hit rock bottom, fill myself up, so the words can come freely - so the story just explodes out of me.
And so I wait. So I just live. I don't plan ahead, I don't over-analyze, I don't plot out everything so it all wraps up in a nice, little bow. I just live.
Live, so that another great story can come out of this season of my life.
Because seasons change. Things will get worse. And I don't say that to sound pessimistic, I say that because we have trials and tribulations - the storms will come again, but a story will blossom from it. It always does.
In youth group a while ago, we read a passage in 1 Peter about how the bad stuff shows our character, brings out our real faith in God.
And the whole time, I was just conflicted. Convicted, maybe. Because at my lowest point, through every struggle and strife, I felt more sure of God than I ever have. I always knew that God was the eye of the hurricane in my life - that He was the lightning rod I clung to no matter what.
But now that life was good - I found myself on 'autopilot'. There were always other things that needed to be done, that I could or should be doing than taking care of myself mentally, spiritually. I am learning to hold onto God in the good times. Because the good times are the times we are more prone to selfishness, distraction, everything that could draw us away.
Because how we act towards God when life is good are the real tests of our faith.
And so, every day, I try and take a step back from all of this external good, and thank God for every thing - big and little.
~The WordShaker
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