Why I haven't been blogging as much... (plus a Casually Homicidal snippet) | Olivia J

"Step into a scene and let it drip from your fingers,"

-MJ Bush

I love this blog. Even if very few people read it, I would still probably write for it. I love the content I produce, I love sharing stuff with you, and I love analyzing literature. This blog is a portfolio of me.

And I hate that I haven’t been able to write on it as consistently as I did during high school. I usually only missed one or two blog posts a year.

And then college happened.

I’ve resorted to being able to write one blog post every two weeks, and that’s iffy. I just don’t want to put out subpar content when I truly don’t have the time - or mental energy - to produce quality content.

It sucks, but that's my life right now. And my content on this blog should reflect my life. Don't worry, I'm working on getting blogging back into my weekly schedule. Literary analysis will be few and far between, but then you might be getting more lifestyle posts.

However, there is another reason why I haven't been blogging as much, and it's a much better excuse than busyness.

Casually Homicidal, the current YA Thriller/Contemporary novel I'm writing, is almost done. Yes, you heard that right. I'm almost done. I've only got five chapters left, and then draft one is done.

But really, it's beautiful. I have fallen irrevocably in love with this story and these characters. I was afraid it was never going to happen again, but here we are. Casually Homicidal has taken over my life, and I'm 100% here for it.

Now, there hasn't really been an official synopsis for Casually Homicidal since I'm still perfecting it, and the only info you guys have gotten is over on Instagram (@olivia.j.the.wordshaker) in the form of collages and snippets.

However, there is a little bit more I can share with you, in the form of a short piece about the themes of Casually Homicidal. And some photos of course.

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So . . . what is Casually Homicidal even about?

Casually Homicidal is about change, and the insane things we do to stop time.

It’s about being so rejected that all you can manage to do is reject other people.

pic creds to Pinterest

It’s about the secrets we keep and what they drive us to do.

It’s about being so incredibly empty that we don’t even realize we’re filling a void.

It’s about small towns and nostalgia and the wilderness of young adulthood.

pic creds to Pinterest

It’s about pain and the people, memories, and experiences that change us.

It’s about accepting the past and facing the future.

It’s about deciding who you really want to be.

pic creds to Pinterest

Casually Homicidal is about two eighteen-year-olds trying to find out where they fit in a world that wants nothing to do with either of them.

Cue the existential crises, road trips, and bloody murder.

***

And a snippet, just because I'm so generous.

***

“Was I right about you, Hendrix?”

“What?”

“Was I right, that you want to leave too? That you feel this terrible, awful stringing feeling inside, like your stomach is made of a ball of yarn and someone’s just pulling and pulling and pulling at it? Except you’re not sure where they’re pulling it, so the spool just grows smaller and smaller, until one day it’s just going to pop out of you Do you feel that way, too?”

Hendrix pauses. His eyes glaze and go far away - he’s thinking. “Yes.”

His voice strikes me, sharp and metallic. He’s lying, I can feel it right in the core of me. People lie to me all the time. I’ve gotten good at discerning it. “You don’t.”

Hendrix swallows audibly. “Yeah, I do.” It comes out more like a question.

My forehead tenses up. I ought to take him at face value - I really should. I sit up and start to walk over towards him, to see if he’s genuine. If he really means anything he’s saying.

But he turns on his heel and walks away from me, towards his side of the bed.

“We should sleep, Arden. It’s almost 2am.”

My chest splinters as I wander back into bed, swallowed by the soft darkness. I’m sleeping in the same bed as Hendrix, but he feels so far away. And the divide is lined with sinkholes and jagged rocks and fearsome creatures on both sides.

It’s not like he felt any closer when we worked together at that Godforsaken frozen yogurt shop. But us being in this together, it feels like we should be.

Granted, the world should be a lot of things.

But we both know it’s not.

***

Love you all. Thanks for supporting what I love.

~The WordShaker

Book Review: 'Saving Ivy' by Emily Reilly | Olivia J

"Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use,"

-Mark Twain

It's strange, but I think I read indie author books faster sometimes. Or maybe it's because this one was a contemporary. 

But alas, this is yet another indie book review! I don't think I'll ever get tired of reading work from my peers.

Disclaimer: I received this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much Emily, you should totally follow her on Instagram @emreilly!

Spoilers, duh. 

TW: Saving Ivy deals with heavy topics, including but not limited to: self-harm, abuse, rape, violence, and suicide. You need to go into this book with the right mindset. If you have suicidal tendencies, DO NOT read this book. 

The Bad

1. The Writing

This has two main points, so I shall break it up for ease. 

      a. Thoughts In Italics

Reilly's writing heavily employs a tactic where the literal thoughts that run through a character's head are included in the prose and then italicized. 

When used sparingly, they can be very effective. However, instead of using word choice, syntax, or dialogue to convey thoughts and emotions, Reilly relies on clipped words or phrases to express what the character is thinking or feeling. The overuse of it quickly begins to feel juvenile, and borders on telling instead of showing. 

      b. Development of Different POVs

Saving Ivy has at least four different point-of-views, but the story is mostly told through Ivy, Aunt Wiley, and Joseph's point of view.

As someone who mostly writes in first person dual or multiple perspective POVs, I feel that I can come from a place of experience and offer some critique but also advice. I've been writing with multiple perspectives since 2013 - that doesn't make me an expert by any means, but it does mean that I know what I'm talking about to some extent. 

The trick with writing multiple perspectives is voice. I mean, you as a writer and also the POV character should have their own distinct voice even if you're writing one POV. 

However, it's even more important that you develop strong character voices in a story with more than one POV characters. It just makes sense from a literal perspective: all humans think differently. We all use different syntax, we have different levels of vocabulary; what we say and how we say it varies greatly from person to person. 

In order to develop this, you have to consider so many things about the character: How old are they? What is their education level? What is their sense of humor like? What is their outlook on life? What region or part of the world are they from? All of these things influence a character's voice. 

The unfortunate problem is that Saving Ivy doesn't develop its POV character's voices. The writing style is virtually the same across Ivy, Aunt Wiley, and Joseph (although Joseph's voice is the most developed, I will give credit there).

The different POVs aren't confusing because you're not sure who's speaking - because the reader can deduce that from the content - they're confusing because everyone sounds so similar. It makes the writing flat and less engaging, as well as not allowing us to fully get into the POV character's head. Part of immersing the reader in the character is being able to see how that character thinks, perceives, and feels. Saving Ivy severely lacked the proper development of the three POVs in order to make them distinct and engaging. 

2. Lack of Complexity

Stories - and their levels of complexity - change in order to fit the target audience. Middle-grade books have more character depth, plot development, and tackle deeper issues than simple chapter books. Young Adult books take everything from MG and dig even deeper, and tailor the subject matter to fit the audience. Adult fiction is often the deepest and most complex of all fiction, mostly because adults are fully developed and can comprehend all of the subtlety, nuance, and complexity contained in adult fiction. Sure, there's some overlap, but as a general rule, there are specific ranges and levels for how complex an age-range of stories is. 

However, despite the content, Saving Ivy reads more like a middle-grade novel in terms of development and complexity. What makes YA so subversive is that it has the capability to be as complex as some adult fiction, while still catering to a younger demographic. What I mean by complexity is the ability to portray many different things in the context of one story, and the ability to interweave and connect multiple story threads while furthering the character arcs and plot. 

In Saving Ivy, there's not much going on. There's kind of just this one plotline of the interactions between Joseph, Wiley, and Ivy - and a few other small things thrown in. I feel like this has to do with the length of the book. Everything is kind of right on the surface. There's not much subtext, and the entirety of the plot, themes, and character development is right there in front of you. The story doesn't have many levels - each scene furthers one aspect of the plot. With some more character arcs and subplots thrown in, Saving Ivy would have had much more development and complexity. 


The Good

1. The Flashbacks (& some of the writing)

I'm a sucker for some good flashbacks - *cough* A Cactus In the Valley *cough* Lost. And the flashbacks in Saving Ivy were done so well and added so much to the story and the characters. They were short, but packed such an impactful and significant punch. It was like looking through a keyhole, but still able to see all that you needed without the flashbacks interrupting the story or dragging it down. There was more implied backstory, and I feel that this worked in favor of the narrative to balance out some of the heavier subject matter and depressing tone of the book. Reilly could have easily packed in the long sob-backstories, but she chose to make them short and sweet (in the colloquial sense of the last word). 

Now, based on the critiques I've made of Reilly's writing, it would be safe to assume that I think that Reilly is not a good writer. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. There were some passages and some lines in Saving Ivy that took my breath away, that forced me to reconsider things, and absolutely pulled me in with the unique descriptions. Reilly's moments of literary brilliance deserve just as much recognition. 

2.  Portrayal of Mental Illness

Now, before you all come at me with your pitchforks about last week's blog post, hear me out. I came into this book with the right expectations, and that greatly influenced my enjoyment and reception of Saving Ivy. 

Saving Ivy is not a happy book. It's very depressing, and I think it's important that you go into this book with that mindset. I suppose the title of 'Saving' Ivy is misleading, but that's neither here nor there. 

However, what Saving Ivy does right is that it shows how mental illness and strong emotions can warp someone's sense of reality and their ability to think clearly. That's why it's mental illness. So no, I don't berate or criticize Reilly for portraying Ivy's suicide as 'saving' her or as her finally finding peace, because for many people, they are deluded to believe that suicide is their only way out. They truly do believe that suicide will stop their pain. 

Reilly successfully portrayed the mind of a suicidal person, and how that kind of thinking can warp one's perception. I think that if you go into this book with the right mindset, and with this in mind, the suicide, as well as all of the other mental health topics discussed in the book, will not seem like a cop-out or as a harmful portrayal. 

Saving Ivy can be compared to works like Manchester by the Sea or Les Miserables - although these words are mammoths in comparison to Saving Ivy, they all are super depressing with somewhat hollow endings. And I feel that we need stories like this to balance out the tendency for all stories to end happily, or, rather, for all stories to have their conflicts tied up in a pretty bow. Because life doesn't work like that - sometimes bad things happen over and over and over and sometimes people die and sometimes conflicts never get resolved. I greatly commend Reilly for tackling this concept. 

~

Final Thoughts: While fundamentally flawed at points, Saving Ivy shows Reilly's literary prowess through her use of flashbacks and tackling of deeply emotional and less discussed topics. What holds the novel back are its lack of strong POV voices. Despite this, I enjoy the genre and subject matter of Saving Ivy, so for that I thoroughly enjoyed my time reading Reilly's work.  

Objective Rating: 6.5/10

Enjoyment Level: 7/10

~The WordShaker

Book Review: 'Fireflies Glow Only In The Dark' by Ruth Morse | Olivia J

"A real book is not one that is read, but one that reads us," - W. H. Auden

I don't think there will be a time where I won't be in love with the cover of Fireflies Glow Only In the Dark. Life goals on the cover, right there. 

I discovered Ruth Morse through Instagram, and when I saw that she was publishing a YA contemporary, I had to get my hands on it. I feel like there aren't many self-published authors who are writing contemporary stories, so I had to support a fellow author!

follow me on Instagram @olivia.j.the.wordshaker

This book seemed like a perfect fit for me - and for the most part, it was. But alas, there is no book without flaw. Without further ado, let us dissect . . . 

The Bad

1. Character/Theme Development

I think this is my biggest flaw with FGOITD. Neither Lana nor Max felt fully fleshed out. Sure, they had personalities and we knew a little bit about their backstories, but not enough for me to get a full picture of who this character was, and why. 

First, Lana. Despite her nightmares, she seems to be relatively unaffected by her dysfunctional family, which is virtually impossible. The problem is that we know very little about Lana or her life. We know a little about her family - about Jax and how her parents fight. We know about her friendship with Mel . . . and that's about it. What else has happened in Lana's life that has impacted who she is now? What was her school experience like? What about her other friends? 

This severe lack of knowledge of Lana's past leads to an undefined character, and it all comes down to the question of: "How does Lana's past impact who she is today, and how does that impact her choices?" We don't know nearly enough about who Lana is to answer that question. Sure, one could argue that that's the point: Lana doesn't know who she is. However, the thing about people is that we are just the sum of what has happened to us until we grasp ahold of who we want to be and therefore form our own identity. This concept was not expanded upon in FGOITD.

Max is nearly the same way. All we really know about his past is that his dad is an alcoholic, that he ran away, and a sliver of his interaction with Jack and Lily. How was Max's childhood? What kind of person was he in high school? And because we knew so very little about Max and Lana's pasts, it was hard to connect with their journey and their romance. 

This also comes down to the fact that FGOITD doesn't go deep enough into its characters to make the themes and relationships impactful. What makes these coming-of-age contemporary stories so good is that they are often a deep dive into the characters and their backstories, and how they overcome and accept their past in order to face the future. Way too much time is spent on the romance and other regular-life things than on the actual coming-of-age aspects that could have been explored. Many very interesting themes were touched on, but not fleshed out to their fullest potential. How does Lana finally move past her self-hatred and blaming herself for her brother's death? How does her family come back together after Lana's revelations? However, FGOITD seemed more interested in describing the romance and the alt-rock scene of Lana, Max, and Mel. 

2. Personal Nitpicks

FGOITD has a lot more romance than I was originally led to believe. Based on the synopsis - which you can read here - it sounds like I was promised a journey of self-discovery and catharsis, with probably a romance side plot. However, I got a lot more romance than I signed up for. Now, romance isn't bad, it's just not what I was expecting/looking forward to when reading this book. Maybe that's my fault, or maybe the synopsis was misleading. 

But really, I think that it stems from my burning hatred of the trope 'book advertizes growth and change but it's really just a romance where said significant other comes in and changes the main characters life'. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't all that FGOITD does, but it's a significant part of it. I even thought that the romance was pretty realistic and sweet at times. I think they said 'I love you' too quickly, but bygones....

Don't get me wrong again, because I'm fully aware that people can come into your life and help you, change you, and make you realize things about yourself and about life - because there have been people in my life who have done just that. My problem with this idea arises when this significant other cures all of said character's problems - their crops are flourishing, their grades are higher, the sun shines brighter, and their mental health is cured. That's just so unrealistic - and problematic because it furthers the cultural idea that once you find love, your life will be wonderful and perfect. Now, FGOITD doesn't take it to the extreme, but I saw some of this trope throughout the novel, which I didn't like. 


Alas, now that that's out of the way, the rest of this review should be a breeze. 

The Good

1. The Writing Style

While not anything groundbreaking, I did enjoy Morse's writing style. At times it was profound and moving, and other times the descriptions pulled me right into the scene while not being too overbearing. 

Back to the 'profound and moving' bit. I know some people hate this kind of writing, but I love the 'philosophical musings' type of writing, and FGOITD had a significant amount of that in it. I live for prose/dialogue that points out universal truths/reveals something new about the human experience. Cue favorite quotes here:

"People come to the most unbearable places when they can no longer bear themselves," -page 19

"It sucks loving someone who reminds you of your unfulfilled happiness," -page 27

"Tragedy isn't unique, nor is happiness or any other feeling," -page 28

"It's funny how nothing prevents me from being anywhere at all. And that's what bothers me," -page 85

"I wished that at least for a moment, I could see the world through his eyes," -page 110

2. The End

The end of FGOITD really redeemed the novel for me, as many books often do. For the most part, I felt the middle sagged. Plot threads meandered and themes floundered, and other than the relationship progression between Max and Lana, not much else happened. However, the climax, the falling action, and the resolution of FGOITD saved it for me, since it was emotional, there were lots of character breakthroughs that happened, and the purpose of the story became clear. My only nitpick about the end is that certain things seemed to wrap up just a bit too nicely. However, despite that, the end really solidified my positive feelings about FGOITD. 

3. Personal Preferences

I have been - and probably always will be - a massive sucker for contemporary stories about life, finding yourself, mental health, family, and love - and FGOITD was just that. For that alone, I have to say that I enjoyed it. 

I also liked that while Lana had obvious problems and was definitely depressed, she didn't always act depressed or mopey. I loved that Morse deconstructed this stigma: that people with mental illness/trauma/problems have to act sad or anxious all of the time, because in reality, we hide how we're truly feeling. And just because someone has a mental illness, doesn't mean that they can't be happy sometimes or that they can't have fun. Hats off to accurate portrayals of mental illness and deconstructing the stigma!

This was one of the few times that I liked it when the main character was a writer/reader. Most of the time, I don't really like this trope because it makes the main character feel like a self-insert, but the way that Morse describes Lana writing were some of my favorite passages in the book. 

Final Thoughts

While Fireflies Glow Only In the Dark is a solid novel in my favorite genre, it suffers from half-formed character development, which therefore makes the themes and plot less impactful. What saves it is the profound writing, the end, and my sheer enjoyment for these kinds of stories. 

Objective Rating: 7/10
Enjoyment Level: 8.5/10

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Thank you all for joining me once again on the 'Olivia goes on a spree of reviewing books and then won't review books for another 3 months' blog. It's one hell of a journey. 

~The WordShaker