An Update on School | Olivia J

"Books are a uniquely portable magic," -Stephen King

School has been . . . fair. In case you weren't aware, I'm employing a very different kind of schooling for my last two year of high school. Read about it here. 

While it's been definitely better than my previous immersive experience in high school, it still has it's pitfalls. 

I can't relate to anyone. I am taking the road less traveled.

College is f*cking scary. No need to say more. 

It's overwhelming, because all of the pressure to get it done is all on me. 

It's new and it's different, and we've already established that I hate that. 

But, still, I've realized is that there's a reason for all of this madness. That I won't fail, because if God believes I can do it, if this is all God-ordained, then it will all work out. 

~

That shitfest was mostly for future reference and to make me feel better. 

I regret nothing. 

~The WordShaker

The Last Half of High School | Olivia J

"It's not what you write, it's the way you write it," -Jack Kerouac

*Note: I censor because I want to keep the little children safe. Reminder, these are my feelings, messy and dirty as they are, and I'm not going to entirely censor my blog because it's my blog. 

Now that summer school is over, actual school is right around the bend. (Hell, that sounds awful.) And I don't know that I've ever been more scared to go back to school in my life. 

Back in May, I made the decision to be partially homeschooled for the last two years of my high school career. This meant that I would take some classes at the high school but take some at home, even some at the community college. 

This f***ing scares me. 

I really don't like to use this word on my blog, since a lot of people I know read my blog, but truthfully, there's no other four words I could string together to portray how f***ing scared I am of the 2016-2017 school year. 

Not only is it most generally the toughest (hello, ACT), but it's so different. Usually, I'm scared of going back to school because I dread it. Because literally nothing stresses me out more than going to school, and all that that entails. 

However, this year, it's all so different. I'm taking a college class in my junior year of high school. Holy s**t. I'm going to be so young and so new and so different and maybe even so dumb because, even though I tested into it, they're all high school graduates. 

I'm worried that it's going to alienate me. I'm worried that, even though I'm taking three high school classes, it will still make me even more different than everyone else. I'm worried that I'll drift from my amazing (yet few) friends. I'm afraid people are going to criticize me for my choice, even if that choice is best for me. 

I'm so afraid. I'm not afraid because it's bad, but I'm afraid because it's different. 

And I don't like different. 

Love, your extremely conflicted high school student,

~The WordShaker