Our Personal and Christian Identity

"A writer's goal is to weave the ordinary into fine silk ad the truly extraordinary into diaphanous clarity," -C.J. Heck

Without our identity, we are nothing. 

Not even the summation of our broken parts, because not even that defines us. Without our identity - our identity in Christ, within ourselves - we are easily tossed by the seas of life. 

Our identity - as children of God, and also as individuals - is the foundation of everything else in our lives. 

If you foundation is in another person, they'll fail. If it is in yourself, your sin nature will always prevail. If it is in your talents, you'll fail, or someone won't appreciate them. 

The only anchor that draws me back from my feelings, from my failures, is the knowledge of who I am. And some days, when the wind screams, the rain is a torrential downpour, and I am just a sailboat caught in a hurricane, I hold steadfast to the unshakable iron of who I am. 

Not what I think I am, not what anyone else says I am. But who God says I am. 

Find your identity. And then never let it go. 

~The WordShaker

An Update on School | Olivia J

"Books are a uniquely portable magic," -Stephen King

School has been . . . fair. In case you weren't aware, I'm employing a very different kind of schooling for my last two year of high school. Read about it here. 

While it's been definitely better than my previous immersive experience in high school, it still has it's pitfalls. 

I can't relate to anyone. I am taking the road less traveled.

College is f*cking scary. No need to say more. 

It's overwhelming, because all of the pressure to get it done is all on me. 

It's new and it's different, and we've already established that I hate that. 

But, still, I've realized is that there's a reason for all of this madness. That I won't fail, because if God believes I can do it, if this is all God-ordained, then it will all work out. 

~

That shitfest was mostly for future reference and to make me feel better. 

I regret nothing. 

~The WordShaker

Beta Readers and Life Lessons

"Writing is utter solitude, the descent into the cold abyss of oneself," -Frank Kafka

 Because I have no regrets, I have made another YouTube video - an update on the beta-reading process, which is entirely new territory for me, and as always some encouragement for ya'll.

Beta Readers and Life Lessons

Much love, 

~The WordShaker

Dear Future Husband,

"Look at the blank pages before you with courage," -Unknown

So I had this thing written for a while now, and I was planning on posting it today, but it was Friday and I was feeling spontaneous. So I filmed it. This might be a detrimentally bad idea, but I hope my husband likes it when we watch it later in life.

Enjoy! Let me know if you like this kind of stuff - I might do it again.

Dear Future Husband,

Immeasurable amounts of His love,

~The WordShaker

Called To Love

"What people are ashamed of usually makes a good story," -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Sometimes, I get so caught up.  So caught up in needless things, worthless things. And I forget.  I lose sight of the light at the end of this tunnel, because I look away.

But I can't forget.  I can't forget that I am called to love. On this less-taken path, I get distracted by the sharp stones that cut my calloused feet open.  By the aromatic flowers that poison my lungs. By the tree branches that reach up and block out the light.

But I can't let go.  I can't forget.  I have no other purpose of in my life other than love. I am called to love. I need to keep my eyes on the prize, keep my eyes turned up toward Him.  I must act as a mirror, reflecting the love that he shows to me back to the world.  But I get so caught up in everything that doesn't matter.  The world grabs me by the shirt collars and drags me down, and for a few fleeting moments, I want to follow it. But I can't.  I can't let myself.

Because I am made for more. I am called to love, and I can't let that go, or this will all be for nothing.  

~The WordShaker

More

"The scariest moment is always just before you start," -Stephen King

I was meant for more.  I was meant for more than just a 9 to 5 office job.  I was meant for more than to be bound by the alarm clock and my evening drink. I was made for more.  I was built and crafted by the hands of God for more than just this measly, bottom line life where I work just to live nicely and save up for retirement. 

I was meant to live dangerously.  Extremely.  Exuberantly.  Joyfully and thoughtfully and richly. Knowing my purpose and future has given me so much to live for.  Knowing that I have a husband and children and career and ministry of my dreams waiting for me is the voltage that keeps me surviving on the hardest, coldest days. Knowing God's plan for your life is so crucial, because once you know that, everything else will fall into place.  

I was meant for more.  I was destined for greatness only God can bestow upon his children.  And when I get distracted by the fuss of live and discouraged by everything everyone else is doing, I have to keep in mind that this is my story, this is my life and no one else's except for God's. 

We all were meant for more. We are all meant for God's greatness and beauty and love, but we must tap into these riches by following the path he has laid in front of us.  It might not always be pretty or nice or easy on the feet or eyes. 

But hope.  Hope for the future, that things will always end up right because God is leading us stray sheep along. 

I was meant for so much more than this.  And so were you. 

Much love,

~The WordShaker

The Cooper Kids Adventure Series by Frank Peretti: My Experience

"Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self," -Cyril Connolly

Growing up in a Christian school and being an avid reader, my beloved elementary library was packed to the brim with good (and bad) Christian fiction.  From about second to fourth grade, I was obsessed with the Cooper Kids series by Frank Peretti.  If you weren't a nineties Christian kid, these books are about Jay and Lila Cooper and their dad.  The 8 books focus on their adventures and the mysteries they solve across the globe, with an appropriate dose of evangelical faith.

I remember falling in love with this series, determined to get my hands on all 8 books.  I was enthralled by the clever, descriptive writing, hooked by the intensity and action, amazed by the complexity and mystery, in awe of the characters' perseverance and faith. Little did I know, however, that these stories would shape me into the writer I am today.

The Cooper Kids series has been described as 'Indiana Jones mixed with Stephen king with a good dose of religion', which, I realize, is a good descriptor for my writing - from the mere flittings of ideas I have to my short stories to my full-length novels. Like this series, my writing is not afraid to push the envelope in terms of content.  Many Christian books don't even want to approach the invisible line between Christian fiction and secular fiction. Peretti, however, addresses the secular and the Christian, and, ultimately, has the motive to convert.  For example, my current novel is about two teenagers who get in a plane crash, and all this weird stuff starts happening.  But under that, it is a story from lost to found, of hope and redemption, of pain and strife, all via Jesus Christ.  On that note, the Coopers meet many people along their adventures, some who come to the light and some who reject it.  Realism in a realistic world - mostly.

These books tackle the paranormal in a supernatural way.  In a dark way.  The Cooper Kids Adventure Series are dark and edgy, but always contain the power and hope of Jesus Christ - which is all I aim to write about. All that I want - all that I need - to write about is the gritty realistic truth. The dark, the dirty, the hard-to-swallow, while never taking the focus off of the beaming hope of salvation.

I highly recommend the Cooper Kids series by Frank Peretti for any kid you know - or for the adventurous child inside you.

~The WordShaker

My WIP: A Cactus In the Valley

"As a writer, you ask yourself to dream while awake," -Aimee Bender

I'm going to do a little bit of self-promotion and give you all a preview of my book. I am going to do this in a list/category format so you can get the whole overview.

This story is Copyright 2015 by Olivia J - all rights reserved.

Title: A Cactus In the Valley

Plot in One Sentence: Two teens are stranded via a plane crash in the middle of the desert and have to survive together.

Genres: young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, action/adventure, drama

Back Cover Synopsis: When withdrawn Terra Lombardi wakes up in a smoking airplane in the middle of the remote Arizona desert, she realizes the only other survivor is the arrogant Wyatt Hartman.

Clouded with the uncertainty of how they crashed, the two strangers head west in pursuit of civilization. Amidst the environment and dangerous animals against them, they must band together to survive and even thrive in the rocky, sun-drenched Southwest. However, the elements force them to confront their inner demons.

Told through dual points-of-view and intermittent flashbacks, teenagers Wyatt and Terra brave the sun and sand alone. But it is through the hardest times in which we grow the most.

~

WARNING: There is some suggestive content in this book. Language, violence, emotional intensity, an instance of rape and drug use is included in this book.

Contact me at oliviajthewordshaker@gmail.com if you are interested in purchasing this novel - coming this September!

Follow me on Instagram at @olivia.j.the.wordshaker

~The WordShaker

#GroupTherapy Inspired by Amy Sauder

"Write until it becomes as natural as breathing.  Write until not writing makes you anxious," -Unknown

First of all, I changed my Instagram username to @olivia.j.the.wordshaker to match my blog for ya'll. 

Since the wonderful Amy Sauder is one of my best writer-friends, I will be supporting her and jumping on her bandwagon of what she calls Group Therapy. This is a phenomenon where book characters (my book characters, specifically), respond to my life problems. 

So, here goes nothing.  These characters are all from my WIP, Deus Ex Eremus: God from the Wilderness.  This story has very few characters, but that's just the style and genre of the book. Like honestly, besides these 6, there are probably only like 4 more characters who are only in for a scene or two. 

Wyatt: He sighs and crosses his arms, looking at me with a certain intense kindness in his eyes.  "Well, if it makes you feel any better, this will all end one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

Terra: She pauses before speaking, the gears visibly turning in her head. "You, know, I've been through something like this before, and what helps for me is to put it in perspective. Focus on everything good in your life. Imagine the future - if conditions allow, you'll probably live way past this problem anyways." 

Lilly: She immediately lurches toward me and wraps me in her soft, stick-like arms. No words from Lilly are needed

Harper: She tosses her hair and scowls playfully at me.  "Suck it up, I know you're stronger than this." But after her harsh words, she is generous with her affections. 

Wyatt's uncle, Adam: He clears his throat, scratching his salt and pepper stubble and smiling. "Don't die." Winking at me, he slaps a meaty hand on my back and laughs.  "Just joking.  You've got this, kid."

Terra's grandma, Eloise: With a cocked, half smile, she says to me.  "You're never fully dressed without a smile!" 

Hope you enjoyed hearing what my characters had to say! 

Follow Amy Sauder at amylsauder.wordpress.com

~The WordShaker

Where Are You? A Love Poem by Yours Truly

"Poetry is language at it's most distilled and most powerful," -Rita Dove

Every once in a while, I actually do write a poem, but the mood must strike me.  So, enjoy this small and rare gem about my future husband. 

"Where Are You?  A Love Poem by Yours Truly" by Olivia J

Copyright 2015 Olivia J

Where are you?

That's what I really want to know.

There's a part of me that knows

that knows you exist

that knows you're out there

breathing

praying

living

but for now

you'll remain a figment of my imagination

as blurry as the clouds.

Where are you?

I know that I already love you

for our relationship is the epitome of God-ordained.

But where are you?

I'd really like to know

for here,

where I am,

it's lonely

it's hostile

but I hope it's not like that for you.

Where are you,

my sweet puzzle piece

for I already long for you to love me

so I can love you.

I look out at the world

every day

wondering where you are

if I just bumped into you in the hallway

or saw you in Walmart,

but everywhere are blank faces and disappointments

none like me

and I hope none like you as well.

Where are you?

For my youthful body

already lusts after yours.

I long to be intimate with you

just you

and me

and God

and skin pressed against skin

to form a bond no power of hell can break.

And I suspect you yearn for the same.

Where are you,

my husband?

Are you sitting on your bed, too

pining away for the woman of your dreams

just as I am.

I hate to break it to you

I'm not perfect

I might not be the perfect wife

I might not always do it right

But I will love you

And I will submit to you

And someday

I hope we can love God together.

So,

where are you,

Romeo?

For I'll be out there

waiting

watching

loving.

~The WordShaker

Questions Without Answers

"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't I would die," -Isaac Asimov

My current WIP (Work In Progress) is about two 15 year old teenagers who get in a four-person plane crash in the remote Sonoran Desert.  One boy and one girl are the only survivors.  They have to learn how to survive and get along (they are strangers) and use the knowledge their parents gave them, while relying on their instincts, to get back to civilization.  It's actually one big metaphor.

These kids are lost in the desert, otherwise known as the wilderness.  That can be considered the "wilderness" like time of adolescence.  It's also a bit ironic, because they are physically lost, and mentally lost, as well.  It's their own "coming-of-age" that finds them.  The girl's father and the boy's mother both die in the plane crash, leaving them alone, to navigate the world by themselves, kind of like how it is when teenagers vie for independence but find themselves on their own too early.  Also, you really are slowly coming into your own a the age of accountibility, and you have to rely on the tools and knowledge given to you.

Throughout their expririence, they tackle the tough questions in life, examine their own selves, and form their beliefs about the world around them, and, most importantly, questions about God, exactly like a normal, functioning teenager should.   But this got me thinking.  How am I any different than Terra or Wyatt?  I'm wandering through a metaphorical "wilderness" of my own, just now coming to the age of accountibility, being pulled back and aimed like an arrow, to pierce and fly through the air, directed by my parents (holding the bow), but the flight is all up to me.

And lately, actually more like the past two years, have been my wilderness time, my "coming-of-age" story, my own personal age of accountibility.  And, sure, I've been questioning other things about life and myself and things like that, but this is the first time I've really tackled the questions about God.  Are all of the things my parents taught me real?  Should I believe them?  Why?  Does God exist?  If He does, does He care about little old me down here?

Growing up in church and being a good girl, I could answer these questions right off the bat if a stranger asked me them on the street.  But just because I know it in my head doesn't mean I believe it, or can feel it, right deep within my soul.  I'm just looking, just asking, for a stamp of sorts, to seal the deal.  To make everything that I've seen, that I've heard, that's been spoken over me, real and personal.

And here's the kicker to all of this.  If you're like me, coming-of-age and tackling these kinds of things, I want you to know one thing - just ask.  Whether Christian or Athiest, just ask God.  Are you out there, and do you hear when I cry?  He might not answer you right then, he never usually does.  And, don't expect something obvious and clear.  It also might not be the right time.  But ask and you will receive (John 16:24b  NKJV).  Eventually, He'll answer you.  I don't fully believe he's answered me fully yet.  But He's God, right?  So I know He will.  Eventually.  Maybe.

Best Regards,

~The WordShaker