Testing my Faith | Olivia J

"If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn't matter a damn how you write," -Somerset Maugham

Life's a ride, and I'm just here to tell you about my section of the long-ass, sweaty, cramped line waiting with an uncertain probability of getting on that roller coaster. 

But maybe that line is filled with great people. 

Life, actually, has been great. Partial homeschooling has been successful - in the academic sense and in the social/stress sense. I got a part in my school's musical. A cute boy asked me to homecoming. I've got more freedom than I've ever had before, and I've learned to throw myself into it headfirst. 

But my writing life has suffered. I've been trying to throw paper airplanes into the stratosphere - no story is sticking, no story is flowing out from me. And I hate it. 

Though it sounds stereotypical, stories - having a story to write - makes me feel alive. It's why I'm here, and without that, I feel aimless, like I'm wandering through life. 

But maybe I need to wander. Maybe I need to walk through the labyrinth of life, meet more people, process all that I am experiencing, hit rock bottom, fill myself up, so the words can come freely - so the story just explodes out of me. 

And so I wait. So I just live. I don't plan ahead, I don't over-analyze, I don't plot out everything so it all wraps up in a nice, little bow. I just live. 

Live, so that another great story can come out of this season of my life. 

Because seasons change. Things will get worse. And I don't say that to sound pessimistic, I say that because we have trials and tribulations - the storms will come again, but a story will blossom from it. It always does. 

In youth group a while ago, we read a passage in 1 Peter about how the bad stuff shows our character, brings out our real faith in God. 

And the whole time, I was just conflicted. Convicted, maybe. Because at my lowest point, through every struggle and strife, I felt more sure of God than I ever have. I always knew that God was the eye of the hurricane in my life - that He was the lightning rod I clung to no matter what. 

But now that life was good - I found myself on 'autopilot'. There were always other things that needed to be done, that I could or should be doing than taking care of myself mentally, spiritually. I am learning to hold onto God in the good times. Because the good times are the times we are more prone to selfishness, distraction, everything that could draw us away. 

Because how we act towards God when life is good are the real tests of our faith. 

And so, every day, I try and take a step back from all of this external good, and thank God for every thing - big and little. 

~The WordShaker

Smoke and Mirrors | A Poem

"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean," -Robert Louis Stevenson

Wrote a thing. Hope you like it. Photos are not mine.

White lines dragging into the glowing distance

Red dots blinking in unison

Perched on invisible towers

Fingers clenched in the sheets
Dreary eyes and cold sunrises
Everything always expires

Blue streaks across the roads
Cutting across the sacred space
Bee-lining across a dead-end highway
with no destination in mind.

Peeled back lips and grimaces alike
There must be something
That doesn't expire

White headlights cutting through the mystic darkness
The ghost of life in the mere distance
Shadows morph and shift around me
Changing with each uneasy step

We are painted in silver linings
That can only shine in the absence

The meaning of this crazy world
Is as clear as my thoughts
Smoke and Mirrors

How can I make sense of this mess I've made

I grasp onto threads of reality

Creating the fabric of truth

That encircles me like a sweater

The stars aglow

Look down on us

And see the beauty

We yearn to escape

Those eyes aglow
Look up to the heavens
And see the beauty
We yearn to reach

The meaning of this crazy world Is as clear as my thoughts Smoke and Mirrors

How can I make sense of this mess I've made
I grasp onto threads of reality
Creating the fabric of truth
That encircles me like a sweater

~The WordShaker

Corduroy Road | Adam Young Score Review

"I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn," -Anne Frank

Like life, my opinions on Adam Young's scores fluctuates, and it looks like we're on the uphill climb. 

I loved this score. It's comparable to Omaha Beach as well as Project Excelsior but in ways you wouldn't expect. While both Omaha Beach and Corduroy Road are about war, their tones are so incredibly different.

Corduroy Road seems to be in the perspective of the South, and possibly even from the eyes of a slave. What makes this score so powerful is not its beautiful and uplifting vibes, but its impactful and well-delivered message, which is something I found that Project Excelsior lacked. 

Another aspect that makes these scores so captivating is their ability to transport you to another world, to create the image in your head, and while this is another thing that Project Excelsior lacked, Corduroy Road comes in strong with beautiful imagery with sound and a theme and aesthetic that runs through the score like a bloodline. 

Listen to Corduroy Road here. 

artwork by James R. Eads

1. Country Hymn

Kindred and humble, this track establishes the sweeping beauty of the South before the war with the clear piano and strings.

2. Georgia Boys

Musically unique with some vocals by Adam himself, this track boasts with cheerfulness and culture of the South with twanging guitars and drums, despite the impending horror. 

3. Up With the Stars

Mournful and beautiful, this song comes in with a strong piano to distract from the darkness  of war.

4. Sherman

Strong with the sounds of nature, this track builds on the strength and determination of William Tecumseh Sherman with guitars and pounding drums.

5. Kennesaw Mountain

Solemn with piano and rain sounds, this track transforms into the hesitant and bloody cry of war with a lonesome horn line throughout. 

6. Atlanta

Deep with acoustic strings, this song tells of the perils and hard work of the desolated city, as Sherman knows they must move on.

7. The Deep South

This song tells the story of the Union soldiers building their 'Corduroy Road' with unique blends of strings, acoustic, vocals, nature, and mechanical sounds, and hitting home with the men seeing the beauty they've tarnished.

8. How Sweet The Sound

Encouragement for both the North and the South, this track, simple with acoustic guitar, tells of grace even through the worst. 

9. March to the Sea

Strikingly beautiful, this track starts of with heartbreakingly familiar melodies and bringing it home with ethereal piano, even with the sounds of crackling fire as the state burns, but bursting with beauty in the second half with synths representing the stars. 

10. Fall of the Confederacy 

Hard hitting with snippets of previous songs, this track shows the new South in the regretful light of the man who led it all. 

~

Overall, the theme and mood of this score is fantastic. Perfectly polished music that is transformative to listen to, he aesthetic of this score portrays a heartbreaking story and message of beauty in the tough words, the happiness in wartime, and the culture and world of the 1860's. 

10/10, Adam. 


~The WordShaker

PEOPLE not Plot Devices | Tip #1 To Writing Dimensional Characters

"Stories are just data with a soul," -Brene Brown

One of my biggest pet peeves (and I have a lot of them) is when a character is a plot device. And I don't mean when a character is used as a plot device, meaning that there is a specific instance when a character is used to further the plot instead of an event, etc. 

This most often manifests itself in the form of a manic pixie dream character. 

If you've ever seen any media ever, then you probably know what a manic pixie dream character is. It is defined as:

a idealistic character, usually a female, whose sole purpose is to show another character the good in life and to teach them lessons on how to 'live"

*sigh* Now, I've found that this applies to male characters just as much as female characters. Some examples include:

Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars, Alaska Young from Looking for Alaska, Will Traynor from Me Before You, Margo Roth Spiegelman from Paper Towns, Sam from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and Theodore Finch from All The Bright Places

And these are just examples from YA. 

Even if you have everything else that makes a good character, but are still struggling with the character's sole purpose being a plot device, I have the one trick that will turn your quirky and likable love interest into a dimentional, stand-alone character with a purpose. 

1. Give them a GOAL. 

Not only this, but a goal that doesn't have to do with the character they're trying to 'change'. 

A goal will give your character a purpose in the story, a purpose to solve the case or to make it out alive or to fight the dragon. 

This is important because after said character is done being a plot device, they usually die because they've served their purpose.

However, if you give this character a goal, they'll have a reason to keep living, they'll have a storyline outside of the main character. 

And this is super important - it allows the character to stand on their own, like any actual human being. 

Because art imitates life. 

Or is that the other way around?

Enjoy writing your purposeful and dimensional characters, friends!

~The WordShaker

An Update on School | Olivia J

"Books are a uniquely portable magic," -Stephen King

School has been . . . fair. In case you weren't aware, I'm employing a very different kind of schooling for my last two year of high school. Read about it here. 

While it's been definitely better than my previous immersive experience in high school, it still has it's pitfalls. 

I can't relate to anyone. I am taking the road less traveled.

College is f*cking scary. No need to say more. 

It's overwhelming, because all of the pressure to get it done is all on me. 

It's new and it's different, and we've already established that I hate that. 

But, still, I've realized is that there's a reason for all of this madness. That I won't fail, because if God believes I can do it, if this is all God-ordained, then it will all work out. 

~

That shitfest was mostly for future reference and to make me feel better. 

I regret nothing. 

~The WordShaker

The 100 | Why You Should Watch the TV Show and Not Read the Books

"Good writing is clear thinking made visible," -Bill Wheeler

So, if you're not up with the times, I am LOVING the CW's show, The 100. It takes the spot below my favorite show of all time, ABC's Lost. 

http://www.wallpapermade.com/images/wallpapers/originals/the-100-season-2-poster-wallpaper-4009.jpg

The 100 is amazing in it's depth. In it's characters. Just about everything in it is perfect and I enjoy every second of it. 

So, of course, when I heard it was a book, I felt obligated to read it. It just wouldn't feel right without reading the source material. 

Truthfully, I hadn't heard many good things about the book, and I didn't expect it to be better than the TV show, because, well, the TV show was phenomenal. 

And, oh boy, have I never been more right. 

So, these are the reasons why you should watch the TV show and NOT read the books. 

1. The Characters

Finn. Raven. Jasper. Monty. Lexa. Murphy. Lincoln. Abby and Kane and even Jaha. 

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/thehundred/images/5/56/Finn-jasper-monty.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140324012236

http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/insert_main_wide_image/public/0/17//the_100_kane.jpg?itok=hOsqT_u0

All of the amazingly complex characters we fell in love with in the show are nowhere to be found in the books. The amazing cast of characters made the show all the more diverse and interesting. 

But what other characters do we get in place of them? 

Whiny, weak, and stupid Glass and her one dimentional boyfriend Luke and their fabricated drama. 

Not only that, but the book strips the characters of their dimentions. Funny enough, the TV or movie adaption normally does this, but in this case, the TV show builds upon and expands these bare-bones characters into beautiful people. 

For example, two amazing examples are Clarke and Octavia. Heroic and no-nonsense Clarke that clashes and yet somehow mixes with hothead Bellamy is replaced with a quiet damsel-in-distress. She nearly becomes an object of Wells' and Bellamy's attention, and the relationship between her and Thalia is pathetic. However, she still remains the most developed female character, which is saying something. 

 Octavia (or should I say Oct-slay-via) has beautiful character development over the first two seasons, and I must admit that I kind of hated her at first. She was whiny and stupid and promiscuous, but comes into her own via Lincoln, the absence of Bellamy, and her influence from the Grounders. Her fight for Lincoln is admirable and shows that she can be, and is, so much more. And besides, she kicks ass. However, Octavia and her character is pretty much gone. Nowhere to be found. Her only purpose is to further Bellamy's plot-line.

http://media.melty.com/article-5248-ajust_930/octavia-identifies-with-the-grounders-over.jpg

Surprisingly, TV Wells, who dies in the third episode of the first season, is more developed in that short period of time than through an entire book. In the show, he is unflinchingly moral and kind and loyal to a fault, and I was enraged when he died. But the Wells of the book has no other character, no other motivation than his selfish love of Clarke. 

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/the100/images/c/c5/Wells_Jaha_Die_Landung.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160206114747&path-prefix=de

2. Depth 

Of which this book has none.

All of the amazing themes of the TV show, such as loyalty, good and evil being two sides of the same coin, moral ambiguity, and conflicting ideologies are nowhere to be found in the book.

http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/r/2015/12/14/45d81504-a65f-465b-9a3f-94ec5e76d663/resize/900x600/25cb4c2d06c35c4a64fd75aac194a466/the100-news.jpg

The author of this book seems to believe that luurrrrve is the only motivation teenagers can ever have. Other than Octavia stealing some medicine and some snide comments from Graham, Murphy's far inferior book counterpart, there's not much conflict outside of Glass's feeeeeeeeeeeelings, Wells trying to win back Clarke, and Clarke's flip-flopping feelings about Bellamy and Wells. 

There's just a great balance of coupley-love, platonic friendships, arguments, morality, action, and everything amazing about a show in The 100, while the book is jam packed full of shitty one lines about luurrrrve. 

Exhibit A: "To save the girl he loved, he'd have to endanger the entire human race."

Exhibit B: "There was no drug strong enough to repair a broken heart."

Exhibit C: "Without Luke, life would be as empty and cold as space itself."

Need I go on?

Good Lord, give me a break. There are character motivations other than the fleeting infatuation of teenage love. 

I can't even. 

3. Pacing 

This section will also talk about plot. 

So much more happens in Season 1 than even in the first book, and I feel that this is an issue of style. This book has four points-of-view, and this means the plot will move four times as slow because four different characters can be doing four different things in one day, which can take up a huge chunk of the book. This, in turn, causes lots of pages and words but little action. 

While I don't think this is detrimental, it's nowhere near as gripping as the TV show. There's just so much more going on in the show, versus the book. 

http://digitalhint.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/The-100-TV-Series-Pictures.jpg

Like I said, the show has a great mix of survival, action, and relationships, which I think is an important ratio to get right in shows like this. However, the book is like a terrible soap opera for teenagers. 

I would not recommend the books, even though I'm probably going to still read all of them. However, I highly encourage you to read them so we can bitch about them together. It's not the worst book I've ever read; it has some good aspects, but compared to the TV show, it's crap. 

~

I could probably talk forever about how the show is better than the book, but that might keep you from watching the amazing show. 


In other news, I SHIP BELLARKE SO FREAKING HARD I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP SCREW CLEXA. 

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/9U6hASYS2Z4/hqdefault.jpg

http://cdn.skim.gs/images/trzimrcgvqturpu6b9df/the-100-bellarke-kiss

Now all I have to do is wait for Season 3 to come out on Netflix. 

*sigh*

~The WordShaker

The Last Half of High School | Olivia J

"It's not what you write, it's the way you write it," -Jack Kerouac

*Note: I censor because I want to keep the little children safe. Reminder, these are my feelings, messy and dirty as they are, and I'm not going to entirely censor my blog because it's my blog. 

Now that summer school is over, actual school is right around the bend. (Hell, that sounds awful.) And I don't know that I've ever been more scared to go back to school in my life. 

Back in May, I made the decision to be partially homeschooled for the last two years of my high school career. This meant that I would take some classes at the high school but take some at home, even some at the community college. 

This f***ing scares me. 

I really don't like to use this word on my blog, since a lot of people I know read my blog, but truthfully, there's no other four words I could string together to portray how f***ing scared I am of the 2016-2017 school year. 

Not only is it most generally the toughest (hello, ACT), but it's so different. Usually, I'm scared of going back to school because I dread it. Because literally nothing stresses me out more than going to school, and all that that entails. 

However, this year, it's all so different. I'm taking a college class in my junior year of high school. Holy s**t. I'm going to be so young and so new and so different and maybe even so dumb because, even though I tested into it, they're all high school graduates. 

I'm worried that it's going to alienate me. I'm worried that, even though I'm taking three high school classes, it will still make me even more different than everyone else. I'm worried that I'll drift from my amazing (yet few) friends. I'm afraid people are going to criticize me for my choice, even if that choice is best for me. 

I'm so afraid. I'm not afraid because it's bad, but I'm afraid because it's different. 

And I don't like different. 

Love, your extremely conflicted high school student,

~The WordShaker